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Letters to Santa

Dear Santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben agud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,

BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a frigging book called a dictionary so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the spaceranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa

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Dear Santa: I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is Peace and Joy in the world for every body!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa

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Dear Santa:

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I.Joe's, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.

Santa

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Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the runs, and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.

Santa

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Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa

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Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?Timmy

Timmy,

That whiney begging may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again!

Santa

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Dearest Santa:

We don't have a chimney in our house so how do you get in?

Love, Marky

Mark,

First, stop calling yourself "Marky"! That's why you're getting your butt whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,

Santa

Holiday Survey

I received this Holiday Survey and decided to share my answers with all of you. Enjoy!!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? I love hot chocolate almost as much as I despise Egg Nog. I love Stephen's White Hot Chocolate or the plain Milk Chocolate with a huge dallop of whipping cream.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? When I was younger Santa did not wrap them, but set them in a pile. When I got older, my mom (uh, I mean, Santa) started wrapping them. I have no idea what brought about the change.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored lights, definately!!

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No, but I probably would if I had any. I've just never bought any.

5. When do you put your decorations up? When I lived with my parents they would do it whenever they got to it - sometimes waiting until the week before Christmas, but since I moved into my own house, I've started decorating the day after Thanksgiving. I figure if you're going to go through all the work to put everything up, you may as well enjoy it as much as possible.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? My Grandma George makes a killer stuffing. All homemade.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Waiting for Christmas morning to come. I could never sleep on Christmas Eve and I'd anxiously wait in my bed for morning to come.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I'm not quite sure. I don't ever remember believing in him, although I'm sure as a child, I did.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes. It is a family tradition to open our presents from our parents on Christmas Eve. They are always Christmas pajamas.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? This is the first year I've had my own Christmas tree and I decorated it with ornaments my mother and my Grandma George have given me throughout the years. My grandma has made me a homemade ornament ever year since I was born. When I was younger I thought it was kind of dumb, but now I love it!! It makes my tree very special.

11. Can you ice skate? Absolutely Not!!

12. Do you remember your favorite gift? I don't know if I have a favorite gift, but I have some memorable ones - my giganitc barbie house, a television, my full-length mirror, and last year I received a vacuum. I love the vacuum.

13. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? The spirit of charity and kindness; seeing family and friends; no school; and of course, reflecting on the Savior, Jesus Christ.

14. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? My Grandma George's banana cream pie.

15. What are your favorite holiday traditions? Grandma Ault's Christmas Party, my parent's Christmas Eve party, matching Christmas pajamas, and most of all the family picture we take every year - my brothers and I (plus, now Megan) sit on my parent's staircase in our pajamas and get our pictures taken.

16. What tops your tree? Nothing, but I saw an awesome silver star at Target I want to buy.

17. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Both. Of course I love getting presents, but I'm also a pretty good bargain shopper so I enjoy that as well.

18. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day, based on the poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

19. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? Love the first one of the season. Hate the last one.

20. What do you want most for Christmas this year? A new digial camera or an I-Pod.

These Are a Few of My Favortie Things

With the Christmas Season comes a bombardment of holiday songs. Once such song is "My Favorite Things." You may recall this holiday favorite from Rodgers and Hammerstein's musical, "The Sound of Music." Because of this song, I have been reflecting upon my favorite things and I thought I'd share a few. (Please keep in mind these are in no particular order).

• Cell phones and text messaging
• British accents
• J.M.W. Turner
• Teaching kids how to read (There's nothing better)
• The words: fabulous, fantastic, and brilliant
• Maeve Binchy novels
• Black licorice
• Christmas lights
• DVR
• Honey-baked ham
• My bed and fluffy duvet
• TLC's Miami Ink
• Being called, "Little One," by my mom
• Carbs, especially soup bowls
• Television
• Cold Stone's Cake Batter Icecream
• The Muppet's Christmas Carol

I'd love to hear what tops your favorite things list.

Norge

Today I saw something I had long forgot. As I pulled up next to the curb in front of my parent's house, I looked at the mailbox and saw the word, "Norge." For a split second, I was confused. Then, a smile came to my face and I laughed out loud. All because of one, single word - Norge. Now, some of you may be asking, "What is a norge?" Now that's a very good question.

Some would answer that it is a reference to the country, Norway.

Others may say say it is a brand of refrigerators popular in the 1930s.

A few may even say it is a type of motorcycle, the Moto Guzzi Norge.

However, for all of you who spent time with my brother, Kyle, and I at my parent's house during high school, you know the truth. What is the truth? Well, the norge is part of the human anatomy. More specifically, the section right above the ass crack and below the lower back. That section of the body that low riding pants seems to easily expose.

And how did it end up on my parent's mailbox? I think they have Shawn to thank (although, I may be mistaken). Regardless of who it was, thank you for giving me a laugh and a few memories.

Christmas Devotional

On Sunday, December 3, 2006, I attended the Christmas Devotional with some friends. It was great. The best part was The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I'd never heard the Choir live (at least that I can remember), but they were amazing!!! To view the Christmas Devotional, click HERE.