For another ridiculous "Harry Potter" post, click HERE.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Summer Break - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
- No trabajo, obvio. (Translation: Obviously, I don't work.)
- BBQs - What's not to love? Hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, dips, veggie trays, and to top it off, popsicles.
- Swimming. Okay, let's be honest - more laying out than swimming. Imagine, laying on an over-sized towel until beads of sweat appear all over you body. Then jumping into the pool just to get out and do it all over again.
- Summer Fashion - I'm not a big fan of shorts (in fact, I only own one pair and they're actually my brothers) but, I do love short skirts, summer dresses, sandals, and pedicures.
- Two words - Road Trip.
- Summer Blockbusters - You know what I'm talking about; ridiculously over-budgeted movies with even more ridiculous plots. I love them!!
- Quintessential Americana - baseball games, parades, fireworks, camping (and when I say camping, I mean going up the canyon, roasting marshmallows, and returning home that evening).
- A return to my nocturnal ways. Seriously, is it normal to go to bed at 10:30 pm? NO! 3:00 am? Yes, that's more like it.
- It almost goes without saying, but the weather. For those who know me, you know I'm almost always cold. However, for three glorious months - June, July, & August - my teeth rarely chatter.
- Summer Reading. Yes, I actually get to read books that weren't written for teenagers. I know, it's almost unheard of.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
I'd love to hear any theories that fellow fans have about the show, especially about the following:
- Is Charlie really dead? I think yes, but I'm hoping I'm wrong.
- How did Locke's father end up on the island? I think like everyone else, he was drawn to it, but how?
- Is Kate pregnant? I'm thinking yes.
- Who is Naomi? Is she a threat? Again, I think yes.
- Finally, what did Jack see in the newspaper? Who's funeral did he go to? I have no idea on this one.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
When it was announced, in 2005, that an IKEA store would be built in Utah, I was thrilled. When my brother got a job at IKEA a few months ago, I was elated. Yesterday, when I went to the friends and family opening, I was ecstatic. I bought a few things, including this giant snake for Zack. I told Zack to wrap it around his neck so it wouldn't touch the floor and get dirty. When we approached the cashier, the cashier bent down to scan the bar code on the snake. As he did this, Zack said, "One Snake, please." It was hilarious. Grand time, all around.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Out to dinner with friends: Me & Christi
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
I thought that if you had An acoustic guitar
Then it meant that you were A Protest Singer
Oh, I can smile about it now
But at the time it was terrible
- The Smiths, Shakespeare’s Sister
You claim these words as your own
But I've read well, and I've heard them said
A hundred times (maybe less, maybe more)
If you must write prose or poems
The words you use should be your own
Don't plagiarize or take "on loan"
'Cause there's always someone, somewhere
With a big nose, who knows.
- The Smiths, Cemetery Gates
Fame, Fame, fatal Fame
It can play hideous tricks on the brain
But still I'd rather be Famous
Than righteous or holy, any day
Any day, any day
- The Smiths, Frankly, Mr. Shankly
I want to live and I want to Love
I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of
- The Smiths, Frankly, Mr. Shankly
Oh, the alcoholic afternoons
When we sat in your rooms
They meant more to me
Than any, than any living thing on earth
- The Smiths, These Things Take Time
Who comes sliding down the banister?
The vicar in a tutu
He's not strange
He just wants to live his life this way
- The Smiths, Vicar in a Tutu
Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear
And don't go home tonight
Come out and find the one that you love and who loves you
- The Smiths, Sheila Take a Bow
And if a double-decker bus
Crashes in to us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine
- The Smiths, There is a Light that Never Goes Out
For the Good Life is out there somewhere
So stay on my arm, you little charmer
- The Smiths, Hand in Glove